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25 Facts About Me
1. I cannot, repeat CANNOT touch cotton wool balls. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl. If you somehow got yourself a gaping mortal wound, were at risk of bleeding to death, and needed some cotton wool balls to stem the flow; I might be able to bring you a bag of them – if I held the very tip of the very corner of the bag – but you’d have to do the rest yourself. Sorry.
2. All my dvds have to be arranged alphabetically. BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE, THAT'S WHY.
3. I had the first inkling that I might be gay when I was 12, although I only realise that now in hindsight. I kissed a boy for the first time at 15, but it wasn’t until I was 23 that I knew enough to come out.
4. My first name was very nearly ‘George’. My Dad’s last name is Downs, so they had an immense amount of trouble coming up with a suitable name – Benjamin, Nicholas, Neil, Robert, Mark and many others were all out, owing to the bad puns they provided (Ben, Nick, Neil, Bob and Mark don’t go well with the word “down”). They had it down to ‘Christopher’ or ‘George’.
5. I am a grower, not a shower. (Oh don’t overreact. It’s not like I’m posting pictures or anything.)
6. I like the trailers before a movie starts. If anything, I think there should be more of them.
7. I try to be funny all the time, but I think I’m much funnier in writing than I am in person.
8. I have a nervous habit of flipping things in the air and catching them. I’ve broken the sliding bits off countless remote controls, and a few phones, by constantly flipping them. Flip flip flip. It drives the people around me mad.
9. Other nervous habits – spinning cushions on my finger like a basketball – but I can’t do it with an actual basketball and jiggling my leg - it’s like Jurassic Park wherever I go because the vibrations from my leg cause pulses in any nearby glasses of water.
10. I type fast. Really fast. I once took a typing test that clocked me at 117wpm, but normally it’s around 105wpm. And yes, the accuracy is acceptable. 97%.
11. I fucking HATE IT when, upon hearing the aforementioned fact, people immediately (and snidely) ask “yes, but what’s your accuracy like? 12%, I’ll bet!” Yes, that’s right. I just wildly mash the keyboard and call that typing. I pretend to have a high typing speed because fast typists get fucking LAID, man.
12. I am one of the most unsuccessful daters I know; and have been single for a very, very long time. Unbelievable, I know – because I’m such a catch, right?
13. Despite spending the majority of my life in deserts/tropical climates, I would still rather be cold than hot. You can always put another layer on when it’s cold, but there are a finite number of layers you can take off when it’s hot. And once you’re naked, you can still be hot. Also, you’re naked.
14. I LOVE orange flavoured things. There really is nothing I won’t eat if it is orange flavoured. But I’d really rather not eat an orange itself. I mean, they aren’t bad, it’s just...meh.
15. I’m all about videogames in general, but scary videogames are one of my favourite things ever. As I’m getting older they are harder to come by, but a game that is so scary you have to pause it to have a bit of a breather? That is AWESOME.
16. I am a stickler for spelling, and the correct use of words – for example: If you are sick, you are NOT ‘nauseous’, you are ‘nauseated’. ‘Nauseous’ means you cause nausea. I know the dictionary says that, due to common misuse, either is now acceptable; but that’s just lazy kowtowing and I want no part of it. Also, there is no ‘a’ in ‘definitely’. See it there? DEFINITELY? No ‘a’ at all. Those two are my biggest pet hates.
17. When I was a child, I thought I was mentally deficient somehow because I could never see “the man in the moon”. All I saw was a fucking rabbit. WHERE WAS THIS MAN EVERYONE KEEPS FAFFING ON ABOUT? WHAT MAN? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? I was in my late teens before I realised that the ‘man in the moon’ is a northern hemisphere thing.
18. Speaking of shattered childhood illusions, I was 26 before I found out that Maria and Luis from Sesame Street are NOT Maria and Luis at all, and are NOT EVEN MARRIED. I think that wound is still fresh.
19. For 2009, I’m taking the George Costanza approach to life and doing the opposite of whatever my instincts tell me – I won’t lie, it’s kind of working so far.
20. My favourite food is dip. Nearly all dips. I love dip.
21. Most people remember me as a huge Buffy fan; and I am – but very few know about the early, dark days, when I thought it was the most stupid fucking show I had ever laid eyes on. I thought it was just ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ without a budget for decent lighting. I hated it.
22. It’s because of fact #21 that I now refuse to watch any Star Wars movies – because I have spent quite a few years sporting a hearty and public disdain for them; and am afraid that if I were to go back and watch any of them again, I might suddenly get converted. And quite frankly, I’m nerdy enough, thanks.
23. I have a thing for watches. I own 14 of them at last count, even though only four work at the moment. I really should get the others fixed. I do love them.
24. I once lived in what could be called a tropical paradise. The water was azure, the beaches were golden, the people were sparse and the seafood was plentiful. And I was miserable for nearly all of it. Not because of the water, the beaches, the people or the seafood, mind you – well actually, it WAS the people, but that’s another story. And it was a little bit of the seafood too – I was nine, and didn’t care for it. The point is I sometimes now look at photographs or holiday show segments of “island paradises” and am completely unmoved. I’ll just hang out in a city, thanks. I love cities.
25. Before I got my tattoo, I should have put a lot more care and thought into the design I wanted. What I came up with was a little slapdash – but to this day, I still love it so much, which is quite lucky. I dodged a bullet there.